School Days
by Kyuuka-kaze
Summary: [AU] Can Ed and Al survive homework, cheerleaders, teachers, and the other horrors of high school? I'm back and Chapter 6 is finally up!
1. School Morning

Chapter 1: School Morning

I had been awake for awhile now, listening to the sounds of the birds chirping outside my bedroom window. I was mad. I hated getting up early, just as much as I hated school. What's the point? I already know everything I need to get by. "Nii-san! Nii-san, it's time to get up!" I heard my little brother, Alphonse, cry happily. _Oh man, I don't want to go to school! _"Go away." I said, putting the pillow over my head. "Come on, get up or we'll be late! And then Wintry will be mad because she's walking to school with us!" Al said, trying to take the pillow away from me. I abruptly let go of the pillow and fell off the bed, hitting my head on the floor. "Winry's walking to school with us and you didn't tell me?!" I shouted, rubbing my head where it hit the ground. "Sorry Nii-san." He said, bending to pet the cat that had wandered into my room.

I stood up. "Ok, ok, let me get ready. Did you make breakfast?" I said brushing some hair out of my face. Too much hair. "Yup, and I made us lunches too! I'm all ready to go, I've been up since 5." He had a huge smile on his face like he was very proud of the feat. I halted the pursuit for my ponytail holder and put a hand on my little brother's shoulder. "You have some serious problems." I said before continuing to look for that holder. He sighed, picked up his cat, and left the room. I found the stupid thing under my bed. I proceeded to braid my hair. _The last thing I need is for people to say that I look like a girl because I have long hair. _I rummaged through the pile of clothes in my closet and found something that wasn't wrinkled nor smelly. _Mental Note #1: Do laundry_ I emerged from my room and walked down the hall and into the kitchen.

It was complete anarchy. The whole place smelled very bad. Something in one of the pans on the stove had caught on fire, but it had been put out. One of the cats had knocked over a box of cereal and it was scattered all over the floor. There was an open jar of peanut butter and mayonnaise on the counter; a butter knife still left inside each jar. There was a half-cut tomato on the counter with some mayonnaise stuck on it in such a way that is suggested that who ever cut it also spread mayonnaise with that knife and didn't bother to wash it off. I watch in horror as one of the little kittens on the counter fell off and landed with a large splash in the cat's water dish, spraying water all over the floor. One of the cupboards was open and it looked like someone had rummaged through it very fast because there was soup cans on the floor. There were paper towels and plates all over the counters. I looked down and saw that orange juice had been spilt on the floor. And a large dog was lapping it up......

"ALPHONSE!!!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. My little brother entered the kitchen. "WHY ARE THERE PAPER TOWELS ALL OVER THE COUNTERS!?! WHY ARE THERE SOUP CANS AND ORANGE JUICE ALL OVER THE FLOOR!?! AND..." I shouted, pointing at the dog, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DOG DOING IN HERE!?!" I stood there, panting. I was so mad. It would take hours to clean up this place. "Whoops." Was all my little brother said, starring bug-eyed at the mess. He fake-laughed. "You go sit in the front room and I'll take care of this." He said, grabbing me by my shoulders and turning me in the direction of the front room. I stormed out of the room. _Mental Note #2: Teach Al how to make something WITHOUT making the kitchen look like a war zone. _

I sat down on the couch, listening to the sounds of some very rapid cleaning in the kitchen. Alphonse came into the front room; a small stack of pancakes under one arm, that dog under the other. He handed me the plate and tossed the dog out the open front door. "You shouldn't leave the front door open. Wouldn't you hate it if one of your cats got out?" I said, taking a bite of the pancakes. He may blow up the kitchen, but he made good pancakes. "I know, but that's how we got Marmalade!" He said, petting his large orange tabby. "Yes, but what if one of those two little kittens of yours got out?" I said, finishing my small stack of pancakes, probably the leftovers that didn't get burnt. He sighed. "I would be quite sad...all right, I won't leave the door open in the morning anymore." He said, picking up Marmalade. "Do I even want to go into that kitchen?" I said, pointing down the hall. "It wasn't that bad when I woke you up, I swear! I left the cupboard open, but that dog took out the cans, there was no cereal on the floor..." He said, looking at the ground. I left the room and entered the kitchen. It was much better. Sadly, the sink was half-full. I added my plate to the mess. _Mental Note #3: Do dishes _

I reentered the front room. "Where's my backpack?" I said, looking under the couch. He pointed in the direction of the door. I picked up my backpack from the doorway. "Oh! I forgot to ask you. What classes do you have?" He asked, picking up his own backpack. "I don't know, I haven't looked yet." It was the truth. I didn't really care. Al looked shocked. "Hurry up! Look at them now!" He said trying to open my backpack. I got out the list and read it out loud. "First Period: Science, Miss Lust. Second Period: Algebra, Mister Hughes. Third Period: Open, Open. Forth Period: Language Arts, Miss Hawkeye. Fifth Period: History, Mister Mustang. Sixth Period: PE, Mister Armstrong. Seventh Period: Open, Open."

I stopped and started at my list. Al beamed. "Alright! We have Algebra, Language Arts, and PE together!" He jumped up and down happily. "But what the hell kind of teachers do we have? I mean, what kind of a last name is 'Lust'? And 'Mustang'? It sounds like I have a car for a History teacher! And what do they mean by 'Open'?" I said, once more combing my list. "It's open because those are our electives. We get one week to pick them. If we don't pick them after that, we just get tossed into whatever isn't full. Here's the list." He said matter-of-factly, handing me a rather long list.

I scanned it. "We could always take Alchemy for an easy grade." I said handing him back the list. "But we know everything!" My brother complained. It wasn't quite the truth. No one knows _everything _about Alchemy, but we know a lot more than most people even hope to have learned in their lifetime. After all, we were going to try to bring our mother back to life. It's a good thing we were stopped or who knows what could have happened..."Yes, but we could also show off. We might even know more than the teacher!" His brow was knitted in thought. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the doorbell. "Winry!" We both shouted and rushed to open the door.

"Heya guys! Ready to go to High School?" Winry asked. Al and I had known Winry even since we were born, but never in all our years..."A **_dress?!? _**You're wearing a **_dress_** to school?" Al said, starring. "Trying to act more like a girl?" I said sarcastically. It was true. She could be very tomboyish, loving mechanics as much as most girls love pink and bows. Sadly, my sarcasm was rewarded with a slap to the face. "Are you guys going to critique my outfit, or our we going to school?" She said in a dangerous tone as I rubbed my face. "Yeah, yeah, we're going to school. Don't get too trigger happy." I said walking out the door, Al trailing behind me.

"What do you guys think about the electives? Pretty cool, huh? I don't know what to pick. Technology would be nice, but Mechanics also sounds like it would be fun! Then again..." _Bla, Bla, Bla, boy do girls talk a lot. Even girls that don't really act like girls talk a lot. _"So, what classes are you going to take, Edward?" Winry said, turning to me. "I don't really know, I'll have to give it more thought." She opened her mouth to, most likely, critique me, but just then, the first bell cut her off. "Oh no! I only have five minuets to find my classes! Buh-bye!" She said and ran off. "I've got to go too. See you in Algebra Nii-san!" He said running off. I waved to him, then headed off for my Science class.

I arrived in front of a door with a bunch of scared-looking kids hanging about. The only person that looked like they knew where they were, was this one kid wearing a very small, tight black T-shirt and shorts. He kept adjusting his black headband that kept his rather spikey, long olive green hair out of his face. I leaned against the wall by the door, looking rather bored with the whole thing. "Look at all these people, acting like scared rabbits." He said, walking up to stand next to me. "Yeah. And who is this 'Miss Lust' anyway." I said, looking around to see if the teacher had arrived yet. "All of the boys are talking about her. I think she has big boobs or something." He said, rolling his eyes. "They act like they've ever seen a pretty girl before..."

We didn't say anything for some time. "What kind of a last name is 'Lust' anyways?" I said, trying to keep the conversation going. "It's just as weird as my first name." He said in an unimportant way. "Really?" I said arching an eyebrow, "What's your first name?" He grinned. "Envy." _What the hell kind of a nutbar would name their kid Envy?_ Just then, a woman with rather long black hair and a low-cut black dress walked up and unlocked the door. We all filed into the classroom after her. "Good Morning students. I am your teacher, Miss Lust. Please, sit where ever you would like." She said in a soft, seducing voice.


	2. First Period Science

Chapter 2: First Period Science

I chose a seat in the middle of the room. I wanted to sit up front, but all of the boys were literally slugging each other to get a seat close to Miss Lust. Envy walked around the room, then gestured to the seat next to me. I nodded. It was better then having some girl sit next to me. We watched the fight for a few more seconds before Envy pulled out a pencil and started to speak into it like he was a sport commentator. "And they're off! Blue shirt just pushed Yellow shirt to the ground! But Yellow isn't going to stand for that! Instead, he takes Red's chair! The two look like they're about to go for each other's throat!" Many kids had stopped taking out pencils and whatnot to listen to Envy's 'commentary'. But, as the saying goes, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

I had seen the girl around before. She needed glasses badly, but didn't get them. Instead, she always sat at the front of the class so she could read the board. Well, some boy wasn't paying attention and shoved her out of her seat and took it for himself. She hit the tile floor, hard and started to cry. Miss Lust, who had been watching the whole thing, sprung into action. By 'action', I meant that the boy that pushed her to the ground was given an after school detention and was forced to sit in the back of the room and the girl got her seat back. The fighting stopped shortly after that.

Miss Lust passed around a seating chart and we all wrote down where we sat. "Ok, now that that's over, I have some things to pass out." She picked two girls at the back of the class to pass out the papers. "The papers that are being passed out right now are a set of class rules and a Lab Contract. I expect them to come back to school, signed by both you and your parents, by the end of the week." I flinched. Al and I had no parents to speak of; it was a miracle that we still had the house. I noticed that Envy also flinched. I wonder what it was like at his place. Must be pretty bad to make him flinch like that.

"All right students, now let's test your Science knowledge with a verbal quiz." She said in that soft voice of hers, "What is a theory?" I rolled my eyes. _This was too easy!_ All the hands in the room went up. She called on a guy up front. "Um.......an educated guess?" Miss Lust sighed and I smiled. _This is way too easy! _She looked around the room and picked me. "A theory is a unifying explanation for a broad range of hypotheses and observations the have been supported by testing." I recited. Alchemy is just another form of science, so knowing science was a must for an Alchemist. "Very good. I see some students paid attention last year." Miss Lust said, smiling at me. "SHOWOFF!!!" Some guy in the front of the room yelled. I didn't care. They were jealous because they weren't smart.

Her eyes glanced at the seating chart. "Ok, Bob, what is an observation?" Miss Lust said in a voice that reminded me of the sound of a rattlesnake shaking its tail. He stared blankly at her. "Well......It's....well, you know........well it's a observation!" was his pathetic, stuttered reply. "I want you to take out a piece of paper when you get home and ask someone what an observation is. Then, I want you to write, not type, the definition 25 times. I expect you to turn in the paper tomorrow morning and tell the class what an observation is." She said writing 'Bob – definition of 'observation' 25 times' on the board. Some people snickered. She gained some of my respect. "She a no-nonsense person isn't she?" Envy whispered in my ear. I nodded in response because she was looking in our direction. I hated school, but that didn't mean I wanted to get into trouble. The bell rang. "Time for second period! Hurry up now, you only have five minutes to get to your next class!" Miss Lust said, smiling warmly.

Envy and I walked out the door together. "So...can I see your schedule?" Envy said, pulling out his. I handed it to him. He looked over it. "NO WAY! That is SO AWESOME!!" he said, practically jumping up and down. "What is so 'awesome'?" was my reply. How could schedules be awesome? All he did was hand me his. We had the same schedule! "Friends?" he said, extending his hand. "Friends." I said, shaking his hand. "OK, so what do you, I mean _we _have next?" he said, grinning from ear to ear. "Algebra." I said. He grabbed my arm and pulled me through the crowd of lost people. We stopped in front of an open door. "Well, here we are. Shall we go in?" He said, saying the last part with a fake British accent. I laughed. _Maybe school won't be so bad after all._


	3. First Elective

Chapter 3: First elective

We entered the rather empty classroom. Since it was almost empty, it didn't take me long to find my little brother. "Heya Al. How was first period?" I said, sitting down next to him. "It was awesome! I'm having a lot of fun. How about you, Nii-san?" he replied. He meant it too, because his eyes were sparkling like diamonds. "Speaking of which, I want you to meet my new friend, Envy. Envy this is my little brother Alphonse." I said, hoping they would get along. Al beamed at him. "I'm so glad Nii-san made a new friend!" he chimed. Envy laughed. "Nice to meet you too." He sat next to me, giving me a weird look. "If he's your little brother, why are you guys in the same grade?" He whispered to me. I puffed out my chest with pride. "My little brother is so smart that he skipped a grade." I said, ruffling Al's hair. "It's not that big of a feat. It's not worth bragging about." Al said, blushing slightly because several people in the class were staring bug-eyed at him. Envy laughed. Just then, Winry came in.

Al didn't see her, but I did. "Are you lost?" I said to her. She gave me an 'If-we-weren't-in-school-right-now-I-would-hit-you' look. "You're in our Algebra class? Awesome!" Al said, smiling. Envy looked rather lost. "Envy, this is Winry. She's a very old friend of mine. And she is _not _my girlfriend." I said in response to the look on Envy's face. Winry fake laughed. "Nice to meet you." Envy said, shaking Winry's hand. He was very polite. "Have you got any books yet? I have and they weigh a _ton_." Winry said as she sat down next to Envy. My answer was cut off by the arrival of the teacher.

"Sorry I'm late!" The man said, dashing in the door. He gave me the impression of a nice guy already. He had very short brown hair and square glasses. "I was just showing Roy a picture of my daughter. She's going to be four next week!" He chimed, obviously very proud. All the girls got excited. "Can we see a picture of her?" Winry asked. "Of course!" He said handing her a picture of a cute, young girl. The passing around of the picture greatly delayed things, so I was happy. Sadly, all the girls were all cooing and they were like 'she's so cute!'. It started to get to me after awhile. Finally, the picture was returned to Mr. Hughes. "Roll call time!" He said, pulling out a blue sheet. "Miss Lust was so caught up in things, she didn't take attendance. Think she'll be mad?" Envy said out of the corner of his mouth to me. I nodded, thinking about her punishments.

For some reason, about half the class was gone. "Ah, they're just lost. They'll be here soon enough." was all Mr. Hughes had to say about that. "Ok class, let's see how much you guys know." He said, writing 8 27_n_2 on the board. "Who can solve that?" Most of the class stared at the board. The girl from this morning's science class raised her hand. "Sir, you can't solve that without knowing what the variable is." He sighed quietly. "How about this one?' He said, writing (100) 1/4 . He sighed at our blank stares and spent the rest of the morning teaching us how to answer that problem.

It was as if he was speaking in Greek. All of these terms and stuff made little to no sense to me. _Why can't we just skip this and go to geometry? I like geometry. It makes sense. _"Ok, put your stuff away, the bell will ring in a few minuets." He said, finally, erasing the board. I raised my hand. "Mr. Hughes? For my schedule, it says 'open' next. Where do I go?" I said, looking at Envy and Al, who where both silently thanking me for asking. "Oh, I was wondering if someone was going to ask me that. Head up to the main office were you'll see a door marked 'counselor'. Go inside, one at a time. Seska will help you change your schedule." He said, shooing some lost people out of his classroom. "Isn't it, like, illegal to call a teacher by their first name?" Envy asked, slightly embarrassed. Mr. Hughes laughed. "She isn't really a teacher, so it doesn't count. Bye; hope you get in a class you like!" The four of us left the classroom. "I have to go to my next class! See you later!" Winry called over her shoulder as she headed off in a different direction. We headed off for the Counselor's office.

"So, what are you taking Edward?" Envy asked looking rather bored. "Alchemy for a easy grade. I already know more than they could teach us in school anyways." I said, also bored. Al just looked uncomfortable. "Isn't that like cheating?" He said, looking nervous. "Don't sweat it! I also know quite a bit about Alchemy, so I'll join you guys. It will be fun, showing off, getting good grades, getting all the ladies...." Envy said, smiling slyly. Al blushed slightly and I rolled my eyes. "Well, here we are! Who's going in first?" Envy said as we stopped in front of the Counselor's door. "I'll going in first." I said and knocked on the door. No response. I went in anyway.

The room was filled with books, a couple of desks, and a computer. As we looked around, Al froze. "Nii-san, I think there is a person burred under these books." We froze. Sure enough, we heard a muffled voice. "Well, what are we standing around for? Get digging!" Envy said, tossing books in every direction. We joined in. We quickly unburied a young woman with short brown hair and glasses. "Thank you so much! I though I was going to be trapped their forever!" She said, starting to stack the books she was trapped under. "Um...Ma'am? Are you Seska?" Envy asked. "Oh yes, that would be me. Oh! Your students right? Come for your electives?" She said, dashing over to the computer. However, she fell over a small stack of books and went sprawling on the floor. "Are you sure you should be running around like that?" Al asked, helping the woman to her feet. "And how come no one knew that you where trapped under that stack of books? All of us kids have to come here to change our schedules, right?" Envy said, stacking some books together in a neat pile.

She looked over at the clock that was hanging on the wall. "Oh my, that was the longest five minuets of my life..." She said, frowning at the clock. "Huh?" Envy said before dropping a particularly large book on his foot. He hopped up and down holding his foot, trying hard not to cuss in front of a teacher. "I was looking at the clock when the books fell on me, so I know what time it was. And your classes only just got out, so no one would have been here to help me out." Seska said sitting down at her computer. "Um...Seska?" My little brother said, "We were told to come in one at a time. Want all of us to leave but who was going first?" Al said, looking slightly worried. "Yes, if you please." She said, turning on the computer. Envy and Al left.

"Name?" She asked, opening some weird program. "Edward Elric." I said, wondering if she was going to ask my little brother how to spell his name. "Ok, what would you like to take?' She said, her hands poised for some rapid typing. "Alchemy." I said. She sighed. "And so does everyone else. What do you know about Alchemy?" She said in a depressed voice. I recited Equivalent Trade, The laws of Alchemy, and some other basic things. Seska was impressed. "If you know so much, why do you want to take Alchemy?" I blinked. I didn't think anyone would ask me why. So I answered it truthfully. "I'm bored and I might learn something knew." was my reply. I was signed up for the class. I was about to leave when I remembered something. "Hey Seska? Why did Mr. Hughes say that you aren't 'really a teacher'?" It had been bugging me ever since he said it. She smiled. "The school took me in because I remember everything in a book I've read, word for word. So I'm not really a teacher at all, which is why you can call me by my first name." She said, laughing slightly. I, now satisfied, left the room.

"Did you get in the class?" Both Envy and Al asked at the same time when I rejoined them outside. "Yep, it was easy. Just say what Equivalent Trade is, The laws of Alchemy, and some other basic things plus why you want to take the class and your in." I said, sitting down and the short wall near the Counselor's Office. "You're up next, little brother." I said. He looked a bit worried but entered anyway. I told Envy why we could call Seska by her first name. He laughed. Al emerged, a grin on his face. "I'm also in! The class starts tomorrow, by the way." He said, sitting down next to me. "Guess like I'm next. Wish me luck, 'cuz I'm going into the lion's den. Or shall I say the book's den?" He said entering Seska's office.

I laughed. "Do you think he'll get in?" Al asked. "Of course! If we got in on that little bit of info, there is no way that he won't be able to get in." As we waited for Envy to come back from 'The Book's Den', my thoughts drifted back home to the half-full sink and all of my dirty clothes. _So far I haven't gotten any homework, so I might be able to get it all done by a reasonable time tonight... _I sighed. "What's wrong Nii-san?" Al asked. I told him about all of the work that I would have to do when we got home. I wasn't going to let him help me do the laundry, the last time I did that, he bleached everything white. 'Oh! I forgot to tell you. This is my last clean outfit. Can you do my laundry too?" I groaned. _It will take me until fricken one in the morning to get all this housework done. _Envy came out of the Counselor's Office. "I'm also in." He said, a triumphant smile on his face. We had no time to celebrate though, because the bell for 4th period rang. The four of us headed off to find our Language Arts class.


	4. No nonsense Followed by some Flirting

Chapter 4: No-nonsense Followed by some Flirting

We almost didn't make it in time. We arrived with a precious few seconds left. Miraculously, there were three seats left in the front of the room. We took them. We had just took our backpacks off and sat down when the bell rang and the teacher walked in. She had blond hair and earth red colored eyes. She turned to the class and started off with some odd questions. "How many of you read books over the summer?" Al and I plus more than half the class raised their hands. "Good. Much better than the earlier classes. How many pages a day do you think you could read a day, at max?" Several raised their hands. One girl with fluffy hair and in desperate need of a make-up artist said she could read 20 pages a day. She seamed really proud of that. A smart-looking girl with glasses that sat behind me said she could read 250 pages a day. Most of the boys said less than 50, while most of the girls saying they could read about 75. Only a few students (Al and I included) said they could read over 100 pages a day.

Miss Hawkeye seamed rather pleased. "We will be reading novels, short stories and poems all year long." She said in a casual tone, "Who is happy about this?" Only my little brother, the girl behind me, and one girl that said that it depended on how interesting the book was raised their hand. Most of the boys moaned. "If you don't stop moaning about my decision boys, you will have to write essays every week." She said, giving us boys a cold glare. Envy turned around and yelled "So shut up and be quiet!" to the class. Most people snickered. "Why did you do that?" She said in a cold tone. Envy looked Miss Hawkeye right in the eye and said, "I don't know about the other students, but I sure as hell don't want to write a essay every week for the rest of the school year." Some girls gasped because of the language he used. Some silently cheered him on, happy that he stood up to the teacher. She smirked. "I like students that speak their minds" she said, and started to write on the board. Envy, who had been holding his breath, slumped in his chair, happy to have avoided trouble.

"I have compiled a list of books that we will be reading for the rest of the trimester," She said, calculating the average amount of pages the class said they could read a day, "The list consists of ten books, and you are to choose four of them." She said, reaching for a pile of papers on her desk. Miss Hawkeye gave each student one. Al raised his hand. "Miss Hawkeye?" He said, slight desperation in his voice. She turned to face him. "What if we've already read all the books on the list?" Two other girls shouted "Yeah!" at the same time. Miss Hawkeye smiled. "Then you have a head start. I hope you don't mind reading them over again?" The three of them shouted "No Ma'am!" looking rather happy. I read the list. I had read over half of it. I quickly picked four of the books. Envy stared blankly at the list, then turned to the girl sitting behind him.

She had long, curly blond hair and green eyes. She had a HUGE pink bow in her hair and she was wearing a poofy pink dress. "Excuse me, I haven't read any of these books before. What do you recommend?" The girl blushed slightly. "Well, The Outsiders is wonderful, but a little sad. Never Cry Wolf is a real story about a man researching wolves. To Kill a Mockingbird is set awhile ago, but is very inspiring, and Cannery Row is very funny, but filled with meaning." She nodded as if telling herself that they were good books. He filled out the list. "What's your name?" he said, pulling a small, battered notebook from his backpack. "It's Samantha." She said, herblush deepening. Envy smiled as he flipped threw the notebook, trying to find a page with no writing. "That's a good name." He said as he wrote 'The girl that sits behind you in LA's name is Samantha." She blushed even more deeply and I rolled my eyes. They stopped on the notebook when I saw what Envy was writing next. 'Your best friend's name is Edward and his little brother's name is Alphonse. **DO NOT FORGET THAT**!!!' He nodded and put the notebook away.

A wicked grin spread across my face. "Congrats on spelling my little brother's name right." I said. The little color in Envy's face drained out of it. "Oh man, it's not like I would forget or anythi-" I cut him off. "I'm just teasing you." He sighed. Two boys came around and picked up the lists. Miss Hawkeye called us up one at a time to get our books and a syllabus. I looked at mine. "HOW many words is the book report supposed to be?!?" I hissed a little louder than I wanted to. Miss Hawkeye gave me a rather cold look as the bell rang and we left class. "See you at lunch!" Al shouted as he ran off to his next class. "Ok, looks like its time to meet Mr. Car." Envy said as we walked over to Mr. Mustang's classroom.

Us students had been sitting quietly in our seat for quite some time now, waiting for our teacher to appear. Suddenly, a man with short black hair and matching eyes strode into the room. I could tell that he was really ticked off, but he put on an indifferent act and said good morning to the class. Then, he smiled. I hated him already. I hated him even more after everyone got tossed around because all the girls where pushing and shoving to get to the front of the class. Envy watched in shock. "They're worse than the boys!" He hissed in my ear_. Oh crap! I forgot to warn Al about Miss Lust's class... _I told Envy this. He hummed the funeral march. Let's just say that this didn't make me feel any better.

Mr. Mustang seamed to enjoy all of the girls fighting over him. He had this wicked grin on his face. "He is a pervert." I whispered to Envy. "Totally." He hissed back. Mr. Mustang heard us. "What are you two boys talking about." He said, that evil grin never leaving his face. _I don't care HOW much trouble I'll be in; I'm going to give him a piece of my mind._ "Oh, Envy and I where just talking about how much of a pervert you are." I said in a nonchalant tone. The girls stopped fighting and froze. "How can you say that?" He said, His tone was indifferent, but his hand was shaking in rage. "Well, aren't teachers suppost to _stop _fighting and not just stand by and watch?" I continued.

The classroom was as quiet as a crypt. His hand stopped shaking and he smiled smugly at me. "What's your name?" He said in an over polite voice. "Go to hell." I replied in the same overly polite tone. That was the last straw. The insults flew across the room like a trapped and frantic bird. The heads of the students in the classroom snapped back and forth from speaker to speaker. Envy shifted nervously next to me. I was so glad Al wasn't here or he would try to stop me from continuing to insult that teacher and probably try to make me apologize or something ridiculous like that.

Then, the bell for lunch rang. "I want to see you after school, blond brat." He said, pointing at me. If I was drinking something, I would have spat it out all over the place so I wouldn't choke. Choke on my laughter, that is. "Go to hell bastard." I said over my shoulder. "Sorry, but your going to be going there tomorrow." was his smug reply.


	5. Lunch

Chapter 5: Lunch

"Was that wise?" Envy asked me as we headed off to the lunchroom. "You think I care?" I said, looking around for Al and an empty table. Luckily, we found the latter. We both reached into our backpacks to take out our lunches. Envy took out his lunch and opened up his sandwich. "Baloney again? Gross!" He said, removing the piece of baloney and flinging it over his shoulder. _I hope that doesn't land on anyone... _"Check this out." He said as he pulled some Pixie Sticks out of his black backpack. He opened them and poured the colored sugar on his two pieces of bread. I stopped pulling out my lunch and stared. Then, he pulled out a small bag of cereal, the same type of cereal that was all over the floor this morning. He poured it on the sugar-covered pieces of bead, then put the two pieces of bread together and took a bite. "I don't think I'm hungry anymore." I said, reaching into my backpack and finished pulling out my lunch. Envy swallowed. "Come on, you never know until you try." He said, taking another bite.

Just then, Al and Winry walked up. "Hi brother! Have you tried my bacon sandwich yet?" Al said, sitting down next to me. I ripped through the rest of the stuff in my lunch, trying to get to that sandwich. I pulled it out and took a huge bite. _Now I know why the mayonnaise_ _was out this morning... _"Do you like it?" He said, pulling his own sandwich out. "Like it? LIKE IT? When haven't I liked your sandwiches?" I said, taking another big bite. Al beamed. It wasn't until then did I realize that Winry was staring in horror at Envy and his sugar-cereal sandwich. "Gross isn't it?" I said, looking at the rest of my lunch. Al had a confused look on his face and Winry simply nodded, the look of horror not leaving her face for a moment. Envy winked at her and she put her lunch back into her backpack.

"Hey Al, have you had History or Science yet?" I said, remembering those two horrible classrooms. He shook his head, motioning to me to let him finish chewing his sandwich. "Don't try to sit in the front of the class in either class. And if the history teacher asks you if you know the name of a blond-haired kid wearing black and a red coat, say you don't." I said, glad that I had warned him. He swallowed. "I had History a little while ago. Why would the teacher be looking for you?" Al said, very confused. Winry glared at me. "Because he cussed the teacher out why else?" She said, retaking her lunch out. Al choked on his sandwich and I just stared at her. "I was getting something for my teacher when I hear your voice tell someone to go to hell. I stopped and listed to the whole insult contest. And remember, your suppose to go there after school." She said, taking an apple out of her lunch and taking a bite. Al looked like I had hit him. "You said WHAT to a teacher!" He said.

So I related the whole story about Mr. Mustang, Envy backing me up with details every now-and-then. It shocked me how many things he noticed that I did not and how vividly he could remember things. But, in the end, Al was still mad at me. "You should be ashamed! You don't cuss out teachers! It's wrong! It gets you in trouble! And now you said you have to go to his class after school!" He paused to take a breath, then sighed. "I've got a great example to go by, a mean older brother that chews out teachers..." I flinched. Who knew that words could sting so badly? "Sorry, but do you really want Izumi to find out?" I said as both Al and I shuttered, remembering our training vividly, even though it had been years ago... "Who's Izumi?" Envy asked, putting down his sugar-cereal sandwich. "Don't ask." I said, taking and savoring another bite of the sandwich Al had made.

A think silence settled over the table. "I bit a teacher once." Envy said, finishing off his sugar-cereal sandwich. Winry, Al, and I choked on our food. "You did WHAT!" The three of us shouted. He sighed. "I was in the first grade, ok?" He said, obviously very sorry that he had brought it up. "What...what did the teacher do that made you bite the poor thing?" Al said, his eyes as big as I'd ever seen them. Envy shifted uncomfortably. Then he sighed, defeated. "I wanted to color the sky green, and the teacher said the sky is blue, not green. Then she tried to take the green crayon away... so I bit her hand." He said in a dejected tone. Winry's mouth was open and Al just shook his head. I, on the other hand, laughed. "I hope she washed her hands before you bit her." I choked out. A cracked grin appeared on Envy's face. "Her name was Miss Ham." He managed to say before the two of us erupted into very loud laughter. Soon after, the four of us were laughing our heads off.

"What did she taste like?" I said, gasping for air. Envy stopped laughing and tried to look serious. "I believe I should sue her because she didn't taste like ham at all. In fact, she tasted like cheese." Al and Winry had finally started to stop laughing, but this really got them going. I looked at my watch and frowned because there wasn't much time left for lunch.

"So what do you have next Winry?" I asked her. She pulled out her schedule. "An open." She said frowning at it, "What the heck does that mean?" She said aloud. Al opened his mouth to say something, but Envy cut him off. "Oh cool, you get to go to the Book's Den!" He shouted. Winry arched an eyebrow and we all nodded in agreement. As Envy told her what to do, I staired off into space. Somewhere, in the back of my mind I suppose, something was telling me that my next class wasn't going to be fun. The bell rang and Al, Envy, and I said good-bye to Winry and headed off to P.E.

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Sorry it's taken me so long to get this up! One day, I sat down to work and my humor was...gone. Then, not too long ago, I found my humor, but my computer got a virus and went all wacky. But nowit's fixed and I'll conutine to write. Sadly, the next chapter, P.E and Second Elective, will be a little...hard to write. Don't worry, I'll haveup soon enough. I wounder if anyone even remembers my little story. :(

Kyuuka kaze


	6. PE and Second Elective

Chapter 6: PE and Second Elective

The three of us, after some searching, found the gym. There were lots of other students walking around, not having the slightest clue were they were suppose to go. Finally a huge man with blue eyes and very little blonde hair climbed up the steps to the gym. "ATENCHION!" He shouted. All conversations stopped. "I would first like to say that after PE, all of the freshmen must drop by the locker rooms to pick up the forms for there PE clothes." All of us 'freshmen' groaned. "Lovely. I HATE dressing out. It sucks. Why do we even HAVE to dress out? Most of the time we can do whatever they want us to do without even needing to change our clothes." Envy said, crossing his arms over is chest. "Agreed." Al and I said at the same time.

"Secondly, One of our teachers did not show up today so all of her students will be joining my class today." He said. Envy blinked. "Holy...that dude's a teacher? I thought he was the Vice Principal or something..." Envy said. "That is all. Please go join your teachers down." He said, bowing slightly and then he walked down the steps. I turned to the girl standing next to me. "Excuse me, which teacher is Mr. Armstrong?" She blinked, then pointed at the man that was talking. "Lovely." Envy said, staring blankly at him, "We get the big, burly man that looks like he's on steroids." I smirked. "Come on, we better get over there before we get in trouble." Envy and Al nodded and we walked over to our PE teacher.

As Mr. Armstrong took role, the three of us chatted. "I wonder what we're going to do today." Al asked, yawning. I sighed. _I told him that reading all night and getting up too early would catch up to him eventually. _"We might have to do something stupid, like push-ups or running. Or we might just get to sit here all day, which would be awesome." Envy said, wiping some sweat of his forehead. "Alright class." Mr. Armstrong said in a deep booming voice, "Tomorrow we'll take a short warm-up jog and then we'll take your measurements. Then you'll have the read of the day to do whatever you want, like today." The rest of the class cheered as I pondered the meaning of 'measurements'.

Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He was going to measure how TALL we are. I felt myself start to snap. A million horrid things flashed threw my mind. No one, NO ONE gets to know how tall I am but me! "Nii-san." Al said in a warning tone turning to me, "Stop flipping out. We go threw this every year. They never laugh, they never announce it over the intercom, so just stop it." He said, sighing. Envy arched an eyebrow and opened his mouth, but I shot him a death glare and he quickly closed it. But Envy couldn't keep his mouth closed for long. "What the hell was that about?" He said, unable to keep it inside any longer. Al sighed. He tried to catch my eye, but I ignored him. Then he turned to Envy. "Nii-san is very sensitive about his height."

My eye developed a twitch as Envy stared at me. "What?" He said, a note of shock in his voice. The twitch moved on to my right arm. "You heard me." Al said, giving me a pleading look. Envy walked around me so he could talk to me face-to-face. "May I ask why?" He said. I ignored him. "I mean, why? You're not short. You're not tall, but you're sure as hell not short." If I was a cat I would have flicked an ear in his direction. "I know people shorter than you. Just look at the little girl over there! She looks like a 7th grader." My eyes wandered over to the girl he was talking about. "So?" I said, silently agreeing with his statement, "She's a girl. It's ok for girls."

Envy cast his eyes about, looking for someone shorter than me. Then his eyes lit up. "Look at that dude over there! He's hecka short!" I winced and looked up. And my mouth nearly hit the floor. There, standing right over there, was a really short guy. He got up and walked past me. He WAS shorter than me! Even though it was just by a little bit, he was still shorter. "See?" Envy said, playfully punching my shoulder, "You have no reason to get all sensitive and stuff!" I smiled and looked over my shoulder at Al, who was silently thanking Envy. I smirked. "Ok, so what? Still doesn't mean you get to tease me." I said shoving him. He fell into Al, who shoved him back. "HEY! I AM NOT A PINBALL!" Envy yelled and I laughed and shoved him again. The bell rang and everyone rejoiced as they rushed off to their air-conditioned classrooms.

We walked up to Seska's office. This time, there was a rather long line. We joined it. Everyone was ether talking about what class they wanted or they were complaining about how hot it was. "Nii-san." Al said, tugging on my sleeve, "Why didn't we do this the first time?" I froze, then hit myself in the head. "God am I stupid. I'm sorry Al." I said, feeling embarrassed and stupid. "Ah, it's not your fault, all of us forgot." He said, waving his hands wildly. I smiled. Al doesn't like me taking the blame for some things. Especially the little things. Well, mainly the little things. "Dude, it is HOT out here!" Envy wined. "I know." I said taking my coat off. Al started to flap his shirt. "Yeah, but you guys don't have long, dark colored hair!" He said, wringing his hair like a wet towel.

The line moved slowly, but we finally got to the front. The three of us entered at the same time. I never thought I've ever love air conditioning so much. "Hello Seska!" Al chimed. "We're back. Again. Sorry about that." Envy said, fake laughing. "Don't be sorry, it's ok." She said smiling at us, "What classes would the three of you like to take?" We looked at each other. "I think I speak forall of us when I say we have no clue what we'd like to take." Envy said, "But we'd like to have our classes together. And nothing girly like flower arranging." He continued. Al and I nodded. "Okie-dokie." Seska said typing into that weird program of hers. "You'll get your updated schedules tomorrow in first period." We left her office.

The three of us walked up to the unopened gates and waited for them to open. I looked at my watch on counted down. "5...4...3...2...1..." We braced ourselves as the bell shrieked. It sounded like someone was slowly murdering a woman. A lady walked up and opened the gates. The three of us dashed off before anyone else and we headed home.

* * *

Yes, I'm back! I lost it, but now I'm back in the groove! I'm so in the groove, I've written 3 chapters in less than a week! I need 3 reviews before I post the next one because I want to know if anyone out there still remembers my little fic. O.o

kawaiichibie - There will be no Ed x Envy. shutters That's just creepy. I'm trying to avoid any romance, but I have no problem with Roy X Riza. ;)

Inuyasha loves sake - I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this. O.o I had an idea but it was stupid...but I have a new idea that could work. So it might just be them going to school, it might not.

Ok, if anyone else asked a question and I haven't answered it, please point it out to me. I hate doing that. Anyhow, see you later!

- Kyuukakaze


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